It’s been hard recently to string cohesive thoughts together and/or type at a computer, read words. Reading is definitely fundamental, hobos, don’t kid yourselves. Feeling sorta-kinda-better, and have been going through a few shows I need to catch up on.
Last time I posted, I talked about how hard a time I was having finding things to write about. Why I haven’t yet talked about TV is 50/50 - me not thinking of it, me not wanting to talk about TV/movies that are pretty recent. However, there are probably some TV/movies that I have been remiss about watching that are long past their expiration date which are safe to talk about.
Since there will probably be more of these, I’m starting the TV Whore/Movie Whore category.
-----
I confess, I never finished LOST. Or.. really, I watched almost three seasons of it. That was many moons ago, hobos. Many, many moons. Hopefully those moons would be Somerhotter/ Crazy Eyes Salvatore’s (Boone) or Meriadoc Brandybuck’s (Charlie) behinds. Or, more importantly, the Scotsman’s. Who I am sure HAS a real-life name or a pithy-type nickname I could give him, but I can’t get past the brogue to think that far.
At any rate, here are my thoughts while watching - roughly translated:
(Note: This show ended two years ago and has been running since 2004. This removes your right to any of the spoiler tantrums I see on my twitter feed on occasion. Consider yourself warned.
That said, I have just admitted I haven’t gotten past S2. I was completely void of any social media up ‘til a couple of years ago. I have no idea what happens the majority of the rest of the show. If you spoil me, my spoiler tantrum will be epic.
Why do I get to have a spoiler tantrum, while you can’t? Let’s all say it together now: IT IS HER BLOG. So, them’s the breaks, cupcakes. As another reason, I do believe this blog declares me Queen of the Hobos. I’m a GREAT Queen, because I don’t ask you to make with the genuflecting. But if you want to that’s okay. [Best. Sovereign. Ever.]
At this point, consider yourselves excessively warned.
[At the time of posting, I am now unspoilerable.])
1. Plane crash. Jack goes rushing towards an running plane engine with his tie on, as it sucks in air. He kinda deserves to die in the pilot, just for that. But he was just in a plane crash, which I'm told can be a smidge disorienting, so I’ll let it slide.
2. My version of this show would have had no one useful on the plane at all. How often do you get so many hardened criminals, gun/hunting experts on one flight? My flight 815 would have been mostly tourists. Instead of a soldier who can make anything electronic work? Someone who has 80th level paladin on World of Warcraft. Instead of an extremely well-trained surgeon? A mediocre podiatrist. That’s all you get folks, sorry.
3. That was a polar bear.... And then they end up way more scared of The Others. Honestly, I think they would have been less scared of The Others if they’d been called Those Dicks.
“Shouldn’t we head to the caves?"
"Naw, don’t worry. It’s just those dicks from the other side of the island. Focus your fear on the giant invisible tree-stomping monster that eats people. Priorities, man.”
4. All this time and Boone dying still fucking crushes my soul in places. I think I still have dents from the first time I watched this. I like him so much better on this show than on The Vampire Diaries. (For those folks who might judge me watching TVD? I won’t say anything about you watching wrestling, reality TV, or whatever guilty pleasure shows you have for which I would laugh at you.)
5. Getting back on topic. Boone. Yes, crushed. Both he and I, actually. He gets 4 and 5 on this list, because they dragged out his death and burial three episodes. Which I liked, honestly. I’m not complaining. It made the death of the first major character have impact.
However, ABC gave this show 25 episodes the first season. THE FIRST SEASON. How often does that happen EVER?! Especially back in 2004, when they weren’t handing out extra episodes like candy at Halloween. But even now, that’s usually to 30min shows.
My point is, maybe they wouldn't have had to do 25 eps in S1 if they'd consolidated some of the story just a little.
I guess this is what happens when your ratings are through the friggin’ roof. Which is what I’m hoping will happen with the Kripke/Abrams show coming up in the fall. (However, NBC - if you put Revolution on Wednesday nights at 9pm, I will cut you.)
6. Okay, Boone’s death gets one more, but it is only an off-shoot. Does it not occur to anyone else that on an island where massive injuries happen kind of a lot, the large quantities of heroin sitting there might be pretty useful for pain relief. I’m not talking the whole I-Twisted-My-Ankle type of pain, but that whole I-Got-Crushed-By-A-Plane-And-You’re-Thinking-About-Amputating-My-Leg sort of pain. Anyone else think that? Or is it just me...
 |
| "Go grab a poultice, I need to take his leg off with this door." |
7. I don’t know what my emotions are doing, because this show keeps including super joyous occasions with deaths. Claire has a healthy baby? Sorry, Boone is dead. Jin and Sun reunited after she thought he was dead? Sorry, Shannon is dead. Right after Sayid told her he loves her.
WHAT. THE. FUCK. SHOW?
Supernatural has been accused of having mood whiplash, but this show is taking the fucking cake.
8. I figured out why I dislike Walt so much. He’s basically Carl from The Walking Dead, except he’s way more of an asshole.
 |
| Yeah, I'm talking about you. |
Although, Walt is much less useless, because apparently he gets premonitions and can kill birds with his death glare. This is a trope I kinda hate... the whole Children So We Can Have A Plausible Burden and Tender Family Moments In A Dark Setting.
Breaking Bad has actually handled this well, but - well, Breaking Bad is fucking awesome. Also, they live inside a suburban house, far away from Meth Culinary Academy. Walt Jr. could probably have a crutch slip on some drug money, I guess.
8. Hot Scot. Desmond, I hope to multiple deities that I’ll see you in another life, brother.
 |
| Or this life. This life would be preferable, actually. |
9. Smoke monster. It was a monster and it was made of smoke. I don't have a lot more to say about it. Get Sayid to start making those miniature fans for everybody.
 |
| Weapon of choice. |
(more seasons later, folks - this ends part way into S2 I believe...)
No comments:
Post a Comment