Headshots and Shotguns

Here are a few of the things that have happened in the last couple months....

A Miami man ate another guy's face off. We're not talking about om-om-om and you get a few stitches. We're talking missing eyeballs. The police shot the guy, he still kept coming, they had to keep shooting.

Also in Florida (of course), a guy who was an actual doctor, started bashing his head open after being pulled over on a DUI, and then spat blood at police.

Did I mention that a hissing hazmat drum washed ashore in Florida, and people were told to "escape" if they could leave safely?

On May 30th, a guy in New Jersey stabbed himself, took his intestines out, and THREW them at the SWAT team which was trying to get him out of his barricaded home.

In Massachusetts, a 79 year old man killed his wife and ate her forearm.

In Texas, a woman killed her infant and ate part of the baby's brain. I can't even process this. 

In Maryland, a student killed his housemate and ate his heart and brain.

In China, this past Tuesday, a man ran up to a stranger's car, starting trying to bash in the windshield, then attacked her and started eating her face.

And this one has been going on for awhile, but there's a disease in Africa which hits children, causes them to zone out completely, have violent seizures, try to bite their way free of restraints, and become pyromaniacs. The CDC has no idea what is going on.

Hold up, hobos. Deep breaths. Here's a kitty.  

Let any feeling of impending doom be soothed by the fuzzy.

I realize that horrible, terrible, crazy things happen every day. I'm sure there's lots of unpublicized blood spitting and craziness that happens in mental institutions, or other situations, every day. So it is coincidence and an issue of news reporters choosing to focus on these stories, rather than doing their goddamn job and performing actual investigative journalism on other topics. They depend on the the fact that the public is going to rubberneck for the tragedy, and we do. And I know this.

But I have to admit, the above stories, the sheer volume of how many there have been since May... it makes me wonder.

And it makes me want to get a sawed off and stock up on ammo.