My Cat is an Asshole

So... in case you weren't aware, I have a remote that operates hardware inside my head. 

In case you weren't also aware, I lose things on a basis which some people might describe as consistent, quite often, or... all the fucking time.

So when my remote went missing, I wasn't terribly surprised or worried -- at first. I mean, I don't often leave the house, so it was in here somewhere. It was just a matter of where. And, really, unless I desperately needed to change the settings - I was good. Still had the charger, which is much larger, and harder, though not impossible, to lose. 

But, all the normal places were a bust.

Which started to worry me a lot, because this is not something I can go to Best Buy and replace. Hundreds and hundreds of dollars to replace.

I found it today.

You don't get to bring my shit home
with you without asking, cat.

I've been well aware of how weird Poe is for awhile. Eccentric. She plays fetch, so she thinks she's a dog. She hoards with the best of reality TV, so she thinks she's a packrat.

THESE ARE THE OPPOSITE OF THE THINGS ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE.  


I'm going to have to Clockwork Orange her ass with Tom and Jerry. 


Poe doesn't appreciate my pop culture references, which just makes her more terrible. And I'd explain it to her, but then it wouldn't be funny anymore.

Poe. You've been sitting on my lap for days, in between the times I've gotten up to look. You could have spoken up anytime, but nooooooooo.


What. A. Jerk.